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  • Writer's pictureJackie Almeida

Are You The Perfect Valentine?

"It is not love that sustains the relationship, it is the way of relating that sustains love."

Tomorrow is the celebration of San Valentine. It is a religious holiday but like many others  it is already commercialized .I see several demonstrations of love in social medial, eternal vows of love from those who are committed and some frustration, even despair with humor by those who are not committed in this day. Everyone is looking for their "Valentine" soul mate, person for a lifetime etc ... I ask you:  What are you looking for  in the  other person that you can already find within yourself? Can you offer all that you want to receive in the same way? Are you the ideal  partner?

I have noticed that the  relationships in today's day in age  are very empty. Relationships that begin and end very fast.(Read also) Relationships: What Does it Means? People looking  to show off more  than they really feel. More ego and  less love. How  far can all this go?

I often see immature men, superficial women and vice versa, relationships without content, gender competition and so on. It is difficult to find the essence to connect with someone. People are afraid to surrender, believing this may be a sign of weakness and vulnerability to the other, fears of failure in a relationship... Is like  if they wore actors and actresses in real time, creating characters through social media and when it goes to real life they can't sustain it, because we were not designed to pretend for so long. We lack honesty and expression. Why do people feel so afraid to be themselves? Let go of this pattern that enslaves you and start to live your relationships based on your feelings. Do not wait for the other person to take the first step, if you feel something don't be afraid. Do it yourself! If the other doesn't respond, it's ok! Live your life! You took the risk, it makes you a free being. And that's the most important thing. To live means everything, including some delusions.

Don't try to shape the people in your way. Perhaps you could avoid the lack of patience, intolerance and arrogance, because these features are negative. Pay attention to chemistry, in which connects you to the other and live without worrying about what will happen next. Do not think if someone  will stop loving you or will not love you in the same way you do. Only those who are free to express themselves can experience what is true love. Do not waste your time criticizing the other person, it is lack of love and compassion. We can not change anyone else, if you are not satisfied with what you have on your side, change! I'm not saying you should go around changing partners like changing clothes, you only don't have to maintain something that you don't  believe in  and  is not completing you. Before judging the other person, try to understand the reasons of your  complaints, put yourself in place of the other person and think.

What is bothering you, is it really that serious?
Or are you just complaining? 
Is this feeling is coming from your heart?
Is it really what you feel?

 Think about it. Listen to your heart. And If you really feel that you are living something that is not real, you must have the dignity to let it go. We can not require anyone to do things the way we want. People change, everything changes. And it is then that most problems arise in relationships because people are not ready to accept  changes, they want someone to be shaped by their own  expectations. So I tell you: there is no relationship that can work like this. The best relationship is one that has friendship, respect and understanding.

You may ask: How to find the right person? - Let yourself be guided by your energy. Don't think the person that appears to you must be the one, life is a school and you have to upgrade in order to grow. So, be more open, and expect the unexpected.  Learn to accept people as they are. Maintaining freedom in relationships, cultivating respect for other people's wills and understanding especially that no one is responsible to bring you happiness. ( Read also What Does Happiness Mean To You? ) Likewise, you are not responsible to make someone happy.


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