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  • Writer's pictureJackie Almeida

How Bullying Made Me Stronger

My country is wonderful but there are several things that I do not agree on, such as having 80% of the population black and people still being racist. People with my appearance do not accept their natural characteristics and undergo radical change in their look that I consider an annulment of identity, such as straightening their hair permanently for example.

I've always been skinny, fleshy lips, small ass and afro hair. My family smoothed my hair so I could be accepted. At school I always had many nicknames. I always liked being involved with art and entertainment, I liked wearing different clothes, which gave me more reasons for bullying.

I remember that in a traditional party that we have in Brazil at Sant  John where everyone dances a typical dance called "Forró" in a "quadrilha." Boy with girl. I could never dance in my entire life because no boy would dance with me because I was "ugly, weird and skinny" according to them. I even asked my grandmother to get some medicine to get some weights because I was tired of not being accepted.

From my group of friends I was the one who had never kissed because no boy was interested on me. I'm sharing all of this because I want to get this message across to many kids and teens in my country or anywhere in the world. "Believe in yourself." The biggest challenges are thrown at the strongest, if this is your current situation, be aware that there is something wonderful waiting for you in the future and go ahead. In the world you will not always please everyone, many people will not feel attracted to you or you by many people. Our characteristics are what makes us special. Many say, "There, it's a child thing." A child who does not receive psychological support and enough love can be hurt to the point  to close to the world and grow up without self-esteem turning into a depressive adult or something worse.

Dear parents, educate your children to respect people as they are, physical characteristics can not be made fun! Children only do what they see as an example. Everything that has to do with bullying is not funny. The situation in Brazil is so sad that even today when I visit there are men and women on the street who scream evil comments about my look, the funny thing is that a lot of people think that I am not from there and being from my side speaking bad things of my hair thinking I will not understand. How sad!

3 years ago I was doing a season in a European country and I went out one night with friends, we took a taxi when I got in the car I could not believe it was a schoolmate. What a small world! This fellow was like the president of the association of doing bullying on me 😂 I confess I had every reason to be remorseful for what he did to me but no, I was happy to meet him in Europe. I did not even think about bullying. This same boy who is now a man, praised me, said that I was very beautiful and we exchanged Facebook. The next day he wrote to me and asked me if I remembered the bullying he did, I said yes that I had no way to forget but that everything was okay, and that it was past. I think my attitude was so noble that he felt bad and blocked me from his circle of friends. Incredible how life works, isn't it? Always be careful what you send to life, if it is something that is not good she will always find a way to prove otherwise sooner or later.

Bullying can make you sad, hurt you deeply at first, but when you get over it the strength you get does not have size. How did I get over it? Believing in myself. I thank every boy in my school who made me all those comments, you just made me stronger. The power of overcoming is immense. I do not want to look vengeful but to you guys who did not want to dance that typical Brazilian dance back there because you thought I was ugly, I just want to mention that today you like my photos on Instagram. 😎

“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.” 

Nobody has the right to define who you are. Be true to yourself, your opinion is the only one that matter.

Jackie :)

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