• Jackie Almeida

Relationships: What Does it Means?


Looking around I see that people are increasingly lost in relationships. Why divorce happens? Why betrayals happen? Or better: Why the relationship start? Self-knowledge is the basis of everything, you know yourself enough to embark on a new relationship?

"The most important relationship in your life is with yourself." ​

Text of  Marshall V. Summers. With the collaboration of Mariana Yamamoto we made an adjustment. Hope you like it!


Discernment in Relationships 

In the world there are only a limited number of people who will be able to understand you. Individuals who, in some way, can capture every detail of your “SELF”, at its deepest nature and the most intimate qualities you possess, and perhaps, some you haven’t noticed yet. I dare to say that, you, want to be recognized by someone deeply: a true ally, not just a friend, someone who understands you. We all as human beings need, this is not a sign of weakness.  You live surrounded by people who love you. But, every person also wants someone to walk beside them, to give them a hand  - a human being who is able to read the inside of your persona without pushing for it, that kind of person is someone with whom you do not have to play a “character”, just be yourself. It is that simple.  There comes a time in our life when we looking for clarity and honesty. Real, tangible and indestructible values. Your unconscious being  is looking for people of integrity to surround you.Of course,  the personality of these individuals may even draw your attention. You can understand them in terms of their circumstances or their personality; you can admire their appearance or their charms and their unique skills, but the deeper connection will not be there. They are living on the surface, and what you want to achieve and have in terms of a real connection is far beyond that. You cannot expect these people to just get you the way you want, or to try to educate them to become who you expect. This action would against the flow of what we are discussing here. You have to look for people who are ready, willing and able to connect with you on a deeper level. If you try to improve someone or bring them to this state of greater recognition, you could be wasting your time, which is precious and should not be used that way. What you are really looking for here is knowledge in others. You no longer feel seduced by the beauty, richness and charm as it could have been before. Now you are seeking a person with deeper spirituality and consciousness. And surprisingly, you will not find it in many people. I imagine that you start to look for evidence of the spirit, a whole soul in a partner. And maybe you are looking for something deeper to the point of what you really want is for the right person to also find this deep within themselves. And you already know what these exceptional qualities are and what the true values ​​that appeal to you and make you come alive, right?In our current society today, you really like to be alone. Here, we give a lot more value to wisdom and therefore prefer to be booked. Busy, or "be set aside" means to be opened only and exclusively to those who will make you grow in some way. At this point you rather prefer your own company. Better to be alone than have a life full of people and commitments that have nothing to do with our higher purpose and destination in the world. Relationships in general take time and those who are serious, in turn, call for a real delivery. But when it happens, the heart should be sacrificed.  Blessed be those who offer you love with supportive selfishness! One of the saddest ways of thinking on the subject is how we have to conform to the partner in order to achieve happiness. You already know what would make you happy. Know what kind of person should walk beside you in hand because you know what “represents” you, but many times the mind can get stuck on the “Can be”.  "They did not look like what I imagined but they are polite” No, I will not say you should seek perfection. But it is not right to reject values ​​and essential features for you because you admit to yourself that "will not find anything better". Living by this kind of thinking, you start losing the game of life. A lot of people think you're ready for a "serious relationship" without even knowing what it means. There begins a big emotional and mental conflict, and here comes your experience.You may not know what you want but if you know what you don’t want can definitely make part of your life, a bit easier. But that's just one of the tricks that you have in your loving dictionary. You don’t have to admit to it, but we can get easily attached to people and then ask ourselves what is it that binds me to this "someone" and it is really something that you yourself cannot explain but is there in the form of energy.And if you've never experienced the sensation of feeling yourself floating, take your time, you'll probably fall in love and fall out sometimes in life.And strengthening the cliches, you have to understand that, yes it is necessary to be selfish. Individualistic enough to know it's time to take care of yourself. Selfish to be alone a while and find out what makes you truly happy.  Do not expect anyone raise their self-esteem. Do not imagine that they will always say that you are more than what you are, judging by what others have that obligation. You have to be who you want to be, from that, bump into someone who instead of changing you, chooses to be with you as you are. Forget convenient, parasites and platonic relationships. Do you want eye to eye conversations, and skin on skin love, or not? The word discernment (to judge well) must accompany you in relationships; or rather in life. The gift of discerning can save us from disappointments and helps us move forward. It separates what is needed of what is desired. What is the passion of love. What is happiness of contentment. It is very easy to get caught, but freeing yourself from this very non-productive situation can be a hard and exhausting task. You cannot expect someone to give you all the meaning and value of life. You do not have the strength, courage and self-honesty to be able to share this with someone, plus you have to remember that attachments, fantasies and expectations will fail in real life. People do not find what they are looking for because they are not looking at the right things. Along the way, we will find several temptations. There will be many times when we hesitate between continuing our self-love plan but, at times, we'll be seduced by old acquaintance, a "may be". And therein lies the danger. It is not easy to keep the mind alive and listening all the time to our guardian angels. They are directors who do their best to remind you that you should not give up your dreams. I wish the “I should not have” will not be part of your life. Who keeps you from something is not the other people that come in and out of your life, it is you! You are the only person able to allow anyone to stop you from doing or being what it your soul truly longs. Stay away from momentary needs. Avoid unnecessary relationships and invest time in the "now", without fear. But do it always with you in mind, just so you can see how truly strong you are. If you have someone to do this with, and they are truly supportive and together with you, great. But remember it all starts and ends with YOU. I constantly repeat this to remind myself, and so should you to absorb it. It will make for a much happier life Take your time. You can live years next to a person who adds nothing to you  and a month next to a great love. In this context, the question of time / space is irrelevant. Have you heard that love usually attacks your guard when you are most distracted?.. This is because that love comes when you're busy with the most precious thing we have: LIFE. While the heart relaxes and breathes, in the mind we have to find a balance point where even the everyday life can stop seeming like a walking on a tightrope.  Ever kissed a hurry? Already clocked the time of a hug? Breathe ... breathe again... It may happen often! That we meet amazing people, with characteristics consistent to what we think of as "ideal". But the first impression, by itself, is not enough to reveal what would come in after the "what if". You cannot be afraid of making mistakes. But that doesn’t mean you should leave it all up to luck.  Consistency, insight. Look it here again. "Knowledge can take two people from opposite ends to be together for a greater purpose. That's the power of the Great Love. And the love is what the world needs now."










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"If you free your mind of what disturbs

 your soul, you gonna walk in this world

free of everything that can stop you

from being yourself."

 

© 2019 by JACKIELAND