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  • Writer's pictureJackie Almeida

Will You Be My Valentine?

We all want to meet our half orange, that faithful, funny, intelligent, good body who knows how to cook, who is kind, and so on ... But when it comes to relationships sometimes we forget to focus on the most important. Yourself! How well do you know yourself to know if you're ready to face a relationship? Being an accomplice of a person, loving, accepting their faults, building a balance between the two of you. To relate is not only to accept the other as it is, it also needs a connection, interests in common. It's very unique and I'm sure we all know what we no longer want in a relationship. But it's more fun to fantasize about a story and make yourself blind in the beginning and then when you can not take it anymore and cause disruption on both sides.

The key to any relationship is communication. I've already written about the power that good communication has here, (The Power of Communication) but now I want to focus on loving relationships. When I was younger, I have left one relationship to get into another, afraid of being alone? Maybe, but already surpassed. There is nothing like knowing oneself deeply enough to understand that no one will be responsible for bringing my happiness, I learned and conquered being myself and accepting me as I really am and being single for the necessary time to get to know me. Worrying if I'm going to find the right person? No :). My biggest hit was be aware that there is not the right person or the wrong person, but the one that connects best with who I am.

Communicate, reach to express yourself, do not create things that are perhaps only in your head. Try to read the other. Ask, listen, demonstrate. If you do not like something the other person did instead of calling your friend for advice, talk openly with the person. Do not do analysis based only on the insights because it will not get you anywhere just to the abyss of another frustrated relationship. It would be so simple if both parts spoke what does not satisfy, peacefully without judging and trying to understand. That way you even end up helping the person. Maybe it has attitudes that even he/she does not know and it only takes the same baggage from one relation to another and only by the fact that you open and speak will clarify numerous things that will benefit your relationship. Obviously when you intend to create something together. If you just want to point to criticizing the other without a positive evaluation for an improvement there you will only be presuming.

When you connect with yourself it is so interesting that you will know right away what you would not like in a partner, will recognize what does not make you feel good and thus not take off in toxic relationships, but life teaches us in such an extraordinary way that even in these "toxic relationships" as I like to say, we learn the most important lessons. The idea is to strengthen one's head and move on, not to be selfish but to be realistic and face the facts as they are.

Take care of your energy and the people with whom you relate, it would be good to have a crystal ball and see the future, but not all of us can enjoy these powers. When you are living in some situation/relationship that you consider exhausting, watch closely. Life is a mirror and sometimes it puts in our path people who are just reflecting on things that we should improve in ourselves and which we are unable to recognize.

Do not look for someone to make you happy, you will spend the rest of your life looking for, maybe you will even think you have found it but between frustrated experiences you will only wear out, get tired and end up accepting anything just because you are exhausted and lost hope. Be the  reason for your own happiness.

Nowadays with all the superficiality and ease to get involved with someone through applications and social networks makes everything fast and empty. I would like to give a high five to those men who know how to talk without asking for nudes, which have interesting subjects to talk about, that do not see you as a trophy to show their friends. A high five goes also for those women who are self-giving, independent, who engage with their partners because they really like it and not out of interest, or loneliness. It is so pleasurable to share something real and in depth, if you have never lived something so try it, you will like it.

I am going from this life affirming that a lasting and realized relationship can only be accomplished when there is a friendship. With our best friends we share everything, we are not afraid to say anything, nor when they exaggerate in something or when they hit in others. We are simply real, how about to become the best friend of the person you have by your side and love?

Happy Valentine's Day!

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